I always knew I liked David Duchovny

Veteran Hollywood hottie David Duchovny recently checked himself into rehab, not for drugs or alcohol, but for a sex addiction! Duchovny's wife, Tea Leoni, is apparently sticking with him through this "hard time". Men, ugh. Hey David, when you get out of rehab, give me a call!

Excuse me, Miss Olsen? You seem to have forgotten your pants.

UUUGGHH! How many posts will I need to publish about her heinous style before M-K stops dressing like an absolute moron? She must not visit this site (shocking). The tiny twinster actually wore this "outfit" on a date with her bf out in NYC this week. Amazingly, he didn't dump her after taking one look at her in her dad's flannel shirt.

Even Pocahontas needs caffiene

Jessica Alba recreated every one's favorite John Smith-shagging Native American hottie as she went for a coffee run in LA this week. So she doesn't like being seen of as "Latina", but Indian is OK? I'm confused.

Is "Gossip Girl" the Next "OC"? OMFG, I hope so.

As a single girl sitting on her couch by herself, why would I want to watch two ridiculously hot people getting it on right in front of me? And seriously, the last thing I need is "It" girl of the moment, Blake Lively, telling me how perfect her life is and to watch her and co-star Penn Badgely shamelessly making out on and off set. Enjoy it now, Blake. In five years, you could be going the way of Miss Mischa Barton.

I thought you were happy with your body, J. Love?

Jennifer love Hewitt looked svelte again as she headed out with her fiance in L.A. earlier this week. Funny, because six months ago she was furious at the press for making fun of her curvy figure and stated that she didn't need to change a thing...and now she goes on a media tour and brags about how she lost 18 pounds. Don't act like the pillar of self acceptance and then go work out like a fiend. I would have more respect for her if she came out and said she felt like crap when the world called her fat.

I waited three months for this???

Did you guys watch The Hills last night? Dumb question, I know. In case you are the one and only person on Earth who didn't, here's what happened: LC went on a date with some vacuous hot guy, Lo was sort of a catty bitch, Audrina was skinny and overly dramatic, Heidi was skinny and overly obnoxious, and Spencer was a tool. I think that pretty much covers it.

LiLo has a romantic night out with her bf

Is it just me, or are Lindsay and Sam starting to morph into the same person? I have to admit, I like DJ Sam with her cute shorter 'do...but only because it makes her look like a man. I'm still straight, right? Anyway, the two look-alike love birds enjoyed Mexican food and each other's company before heading to a showing of the new Ben Stiller flick, Tropic Thunder. Who do you think payed?

Team Heidi or team Lauren?

OK, I'm about to throw something out there that may the most controversial comment since Reverend Wright went on his racial tyraid. Is it just me...or is Heidi being unfairly villainized on The Hills? I admit that she is a complete fame whore and that her boyfriend is definitely the scum of the universe. But, the more I watch the show and have to listen to Lauren Conrad's self-indulgent bitch fests as she completely overlooks the fact that Heidi has tried to speak to her like an adult countless times, the more I start to question the villain-hero statuses of The Hills' girls. Am I the only one who feels this way?

Why so blue?

The ridiculously hot yet inevitably downright creepy Tom Cruise, along with 44-year-old soccer mom Katie Holmes, took a stroll in NYC during some downtime from her Broadway play rehearsals for All My Sons. All My Sons? I must have fallen asleep that day in drama class. Anyway, Tom sported some sexy "see? I'm normal!" aviators, while Katie stuck with a classic button down shirt and some classic (?) silvery-blue nails. It must have been to offset her blue hands...

Tyra loves Michelle Obama almost as much as she loves herself

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right? Either that, or this month's issue of Harper's Bazaar is just plain weird. Tyra proclaims her love for the possible future first lady which, who hasn't, but then takes it a step further by doing her "best" M. Dog impersonation... which ends up looking more like Diana Ross circa 1969. Truth? I think she just wanted to pretend to be married to Barack.

Ferris Bueller cheats on Carrie?!

While the demise of most other Hollywood relationships gives me a sadistic sort of glee... SJP and Matthew Broderick would break my heart! Not only is it one of the best Hollywood romances in terms of how long it's lasted (over a decade), but I think all of us girls love the idea of the dorky girl from Square Pegs getting hitched to the most popular guy in school. Not to mention the thought of little James Wilke going through the break-up of his parents. Let's all hope it's not true, but if it is... work it out!

Thank God she didn't face forward

What is it with Disney stars these days? First Vanessa Hudgens shows off her '70s-style savage garden, and now it seems Miley can't go three months without having some new slutty photo "leaked" onto the Internet. I can't decide what's worse: that green bra, or no bra at all? You think she's waiting until she's 18 to stop teasing us and show off all her naughty bits?

OK: 'Being a mom is the best feeling in the world!' ???? So not OK.

As the mother of a teen-aged daughter...which I am, well, not... It pains me to see this week's cover of OK Magazine featuring a creepily-soccer mom looking Jamie Lynn Spears holding her baby exclaiming, "Being a mom is the best feeling in the world!'. Dude, the fact that you're young enough to still go bye your middle name makes it more than a little obvious to me that it's really not the best thing in the world. And on a personal note: Biotch, I'm 22 years old. My uterus already kicks me in the gut every time I see a cute baby on the cover of a magazine- the last thing I need is to have your teeny-bopper ass parading your kid around; the kid you probably "care for" about two hours a day.

Leighton-lie Meest-man on the cover of Lucky Magazine

Seriously, how much does GG's Leighton Meester look like Natalie Portman on this month's cover of Lucky? I definitely had to do a double-take when I saw the mag, which proclaims Meester to be 'TV's best-dressed new star'. Ya think? I don't watch the show, (blasphemy, I know) but every time I see a preview I'm pretty sure her shoes alone cost more than one month of my rent.

Gwen Stefani and her tell-tale 'do

Or should I say, "don't"? Mrs. Rossdale looks better than nice in her form-fitting black maternity dress while hanging out with Gavin's mini-me, Kingston. But part of me, OK... a big part of me, wishes she would leave that mid '90s Scary Spice hair knot look back where it belongs; in the Spiderwebs!