Tom Cruise attempts damage control, fails miserably

Can't he use his creepy Scientology mind-control to see that it isn't going to work...ever? Not only has he come out publicly in the past few weeks saying that he is dunzo with talking about Scientology with in media anymore (yeah. I'm sure that was completely your idea, Tom), but he recently dropped in on Letterman to do some serious damage control and show that he's a "funny guy" who knows how to make fun of himself. My personal fav jab was that he "believes that all psychological problems can be cured with Vicks VapoRub." As much as I wanna give Tommy Boy the benefit of the doubt, I think the only things he does whole-heartedly these days are control his wife and prepare for the afterlife on planet Xenu.

Why so blue?

The ridiculously hot yet inevitably downright creepy Tom Cruise, along with 44-year-old soccer mom Katie Holmes, took a stroll in NYC during some downtime from her Broadway play rehearsals for All My Sons. All My Sons? I must have fallen asleep that day in drama class. Anyway, Tom sported some sexy "see? I'm normal!" aviators, while Katie stuck with a classic button down shirt and some classic (?) silvery-blue nails. It must have been to offset her blue hands...

"From Hunk to Chunk"

Thank you, Defamer! The site has posted UsWeekly's picks for male celebs that they say have gone "from hunk to chunk." The unlucky lads include actors like Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Alec Baldwin and Ryan Gosling. Notably absent from the list is rapper Eminen, who has famously ballooned to over 200 pounds recently, although one might argue that he was never exactly a "hunk" to begin with.