England crowns a plus size beauty queen

Europe is where it's at! Size 16 Chloe Marshall was recently crowned Miss Surrey 2008 and will be going on to compete in the Miss England pageant in July. The gorgeous 17-year-old says that she wouldn't change a thing about her bod. Go girl!

Gwyneth Paltrow shows off her...butt? vag?

Perez Hilton (a.k.a. the most bigoted gay man I know of) posted this gem of the mommy-of-two at a recent movie premiere. Hey, if she's gonna let it all hang out, at least she looks good doing it!

Sex and the City poster...Thoughts?

SJP looks absolutely gorgeous in this little blue dress, not to mention the complete opposite of unsexy (screw you, Maxim), but what's the deal with the other girls...were they MIA on the day of this photo shoot? One of the things I've always loved about the show is that even though it was technically "Carrie's thing", it was never just her show. If any one of the other girls left, the show would fall apart. So what's up with Sarah Jessica sans the girls?

Naomi Campbell makes me want to swear

The racist and full-of-herself supermodel made sure that cameras caught her making nice with the very same police officers that had arrested her weeks earlier after having called them "F**king white honkies", and being a royal pain in the arse after her luggage was lost. Note to the ageing model: you aren't as hot as you think you are!

M-K...WTF?

Those five letters pretty much sum it up. Discuss.

Katie Holmes eats WHAT???

According to Britain's most credible news source (sarcasm), Misses Cruise keeps her thin frame in check by following a diet introduced to her by the queen of malnutrition, Victoria Beckham. The diet supposedly consists of just 900 calories a day, and Katie eats a delicious variety of seaweed in various forms, frozen grapes and edamame (whatever that is). Eat Up Katie!

Alicia Keys: Racist conspiracy theorist?

According to a recent issue of Blender magazine, beautiful music isn't all this lovely songstress spends her time creating. According to the 27-year-old, who is half white, she has read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant necklace which symbolizes "strength, power and killing 'em dead!" Keys also goes on to say that gangster rap was created by the government as a tool to get black rappers to kill each other and to keep great black leaders from gaining power.

For Nicole Richie, old habits die hard

She may be a reformed mother, activist and do-gooder, but Nicole's shady past continues to haunt her, which was made obvious this week when she had to report to "traffic school" because of her old driving arrests. As much as we hope Nic gets her bad driving habits under control, I must point out an even worse old vice: those horrible bug eye sunglasses. Get it together, Nicole!

Kim Kardashian spills the sex of Jessica Alba's baby

While talking about Jessica Alba's baby shower/promoting her children's clothing store Smooch to E! News this week, the bootylicious Kardashian sis mentioned that she bought lots of pink items and dresses for the mommy-to-be's celebuspawn, then looked horribly guilty when she realized that the Alba-Cash clan had been trying to keep the baby's sex a secret. It's OK Kim, we'll forgive the ass... this time.

Madonna used to be sexy

At least, I think she did, I can't really remember back that far. But seriously, who rocks the 3-quarter leggings with baggy sweatshorts over them? Those perpetual workout clothes are an indication of how much she really hits the gym, and she could use some steak and some sun. Otherwise, we'll all be calling her Grandmadonna soon.

Joss Stone to play a lesbian in British comedy

This is almost like hiring Paris Hilton to play the bimbo in The Hottie and the Nottie. The dykealicious Joss Stone is set to try her hand at acting in a new British comedy that starts filming next month-and she will be playing a lesbian. "The script is so funny. I've been giggling to myself every day just thinking about the characters and what they get up to... I can confirm there will be a long lingering French kiss, but it won't be with a male!" How sweet.

Is Katie Holmes about to crack?

Why is it that in Hollywood at any given time someone has to be having a breakdown? Now that Britney's getting better, we need another celeb to meet the quota? Anyway, the new issue of Star magazine is claiming that Kat(i)e is at her whits end, exhausted and suffers from stress and dizzy spells. One of her biggest problems? Tom has left her with the daunting task of decorating their $35 million mansion. Let's all cry for Mrs. Tom Cruise.

Jeremy Piven is the new (old) face of Johnston & Murphy

the stars of Entourage aren't exactly the hot commodities they used to be, and they all seem to be branching off into other gigs and promotions. While Adrian Grenier's idea of "work" seems to be walking around topless with his gut hanging out, the Pivs here is the new model for the brand Johnston and Murphy. I'm not going to lie, I've never even heard of Johnston and Murphy, but this ad doesn't really make me want to learn more. It's not bad, but it's not...great, is it?

Christina takes her curvy post-baby bod out shopping

Taking a break from son Max, Christina Aguilera and hubby Jordan Bratman went shopping over the weekend, and Christina looked very cute, I might add. It looks like she's still got a pretty curvy figure from having a baby, but it's so refreshing to see a celebrity mom not turn into a stick again 5 minutes after giving birth!

Paris Hilton has a busy schedule and she has the print-out to prove it

Because we all don't hate Paris enough, she decided to flash her single-paged bold print itinerary while in her car last week. The month of March is a toughie for Miss Hilton! From LA to London, from London to Africa, from Africa to Germany...and she has to judge the Miss Turkey pageant! And don't forget all those Good Charlotte concerts she must attend in support of her new beau. Ah, the life of an heiress.