Joaquin Phoenix's meltdown: Elaborate joke or serious problem?

What's going on here? Months after Joaquin Phoenix's public statement that he's retiring from acting, the troubled star shows up in Vegas to give us a taste of his "rap career," leaving everyone in the audience horrified as he chokes through a song and then falls on his face leaving the stage. Not to mention, he is looking less and less the sex pot that we all knew and loved. Some are speculating that Joaquin (seen here with P. Diddy and Ben Affleck's bro, Casey) is playing a Sasha Baron Cohen-esque prank, but I'm not so sure about this one. He seems like he's on some serious drugs, or something.

Mickey Rourke wins Golden Globe, thanks dogs

Talk about a comeback! No sooner did I hear Susan Saranden say his name and think whoa, wouldn't that be crazy, that the man himself was up there accepting his award. Now, some may find it strange that the once hot, suddenly cool again actor thanked his dogs for being there for him during his tougher days, but sitting here with my cookies and milk after getting dumped by an evil male for the 50th time, I gotta say, your pet really is the best when it comes to hard times! :/


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Travolta Family Tragedy

By now you've all heard about the tragic passing of John Travolta's son, Jett, who died while on vacation with his family this week. I knew from the start this event was going to be controversial, as people have been saying for years that Jett suffered from autism and failed to get treatment due to his parents' "religious" beliefs. I do not think his seizure was due to autism, but what I think or what happened doesn't really matter. It's tragic for anyone to lose a child so young, so I think we should be focusing more on the tragedy that is Jett's death, and not what his parents may or may not have done to cause it! R.I.P. Jett Travolta.

Jen Aniston spends X-Mas with her bff, Courtney. You might know her.

Could things be cooling down for Cougar Jennifer Aniston and her boy-toy John Mayer? It's being widely reported that the star of the new hit Marley and Me spent her holiday with bestie Courtney Cox Arquette and her hubby David, while the man with one good song spent his Christmas all they way on the other side of the country. What happened to Jennifer's parents? Siblings? You never hear about her having any family.

Tom Cruise attempts damage control, fails miserably

Can't he use his creepy Scientology mind-control to see that it isn't going to work...ever? Not only has he come out publicly in the past few weeks saying that he is dunzo with talking about Scientology with in media anymore (yeah. I'm sure that was completely your idea, Tom), but he recently dropped in on Letterman to do some serious damage control and show that he's a "funny guy" who knows how to make fun of himself. My personal fav jab was that he "believes that all psychological problems can be cured with Vicks VapoRub." As much as I wanna give Tommy Boy the benefit of the doubt, I think the only things he does whole-heartedly these days are control his wife and prepare for the afterlife on planet Xenu.

Don't hate me, but...

I'm ready for Taylor Swift to go away. Her songs are cute, but hosting the Grammy nomination ceremony? And honey, we're on your side when it comes to the whole Joe Jonas situation, but I can't go globally bitching to anyone with ears when I get MY heart broken, so why should you? Just saying.

Britney does Glamour

...and does it well! Did anyone else watch her special on MTV last night? I thought it was interesting overall, although it got a little slow towards the end, and watching her cry on camera was quite sad. No one really knows what's going on in that head of hers, but at least the outside of her looks fantastic!

How do I say this nicely...

I don't! Is it just me or are the Maguires the least-cute, frumpiest young family in Hollywood? I'm really not digging the Wifey's strapless black number/ sneakers combo. To each his own, I guess.

Tisdale channels Eva Longoria at the AMA's

Work it! It's odd how different the Tis looks since her first time around in High School Musical (you know, the early years), but this time around she looks less like Sharpay and more like she's imitating sexy housewife Longoria at this weekend's American Music Awards. Do your thing, girl- just don't lose YOU!

I didn't think I could laugh and swoon at the same time!

My favorite Christmastime ads have always been the over-the-top adorable Gap ones that they display 25-feet tall at the mall, and it seems like they can get just about everyone and their brothers to be in them. Remember last year's pics with John Krasinski? Too cute! Anyway, this year they recruited lots of funny guys like these two from SNL, Jason Sudeikis and Fred Armisen. How cute do they look? I knew I liked that show for a reason.

So, so sad

When I heard that Jennifer Hudson's mom and brother were found dead today, I couldn't believe it. You almost forget that awful tragedy can strike even those whose lives seem so perfect and blessed. At least her mom got to live to see her daughter accomplish lots of really cool things. RIP.

How does this happen?

Nicollete Sheridan is exactly twice my age, and she looks freakishly hard-bodied and hot in that little black bikini. I supposedly have "good genes" and bust my butt at yoga every week, and my ass more closely resembles two bowls of cottage cheese. Where's the justice in that?

You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt

Has anyone else contemplated what a travesty against humanity it would be if all of K. Kar's athletics on the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars caused her to lose that famously delicious ass? What is Kim Kardashian without an ass? That's like Jay Leno without a chin, or Brad Pitt without a penis. Let's not even go there. It's not like she could fall back (pun intended) on her acting abilities. Did you see Disaster Movie? Yeah, me neither.

Oh. My. God.

Vote for Sarah Palin or...

She'll f**k yo' shiz up!!

I'm afraid.

The hockey mom speaks

Gag me. If there's on thing that annoyed me more than Sarah Palin's blatant disregard for the truth, it was her pimping out her family for half of her speech in attempt to get us to vote for her. How dumb do you think I am? I'm not voting for you because you have cute kids. And though Huckabee's proclamation that "She's one of the most popular governors," is a convincing argument, I think I'll pass, thanks. when did this stop being a presidential election and start being a page out of my high school yearbook?