Sure J.Lo's not pregnant...and the Pope isn't Catholic

Even though she's been denying the rumors for years now, Jenny's fashion choices as of late as well as her restraining from dancing at a concert last week makes it seem to me like she may just have a gaunt, greasy little Marc Anthony bun in the oven. If not... I would suggest laying off the carbs, woman.

Britney's actions coming back to haunt her

Britney Spears is sad. And who could blame her? She has just been charged on two counts of hit-and-run and, get this, driving without a valid California driver's license. How do you live in California for, like, seven years and get pulled over a dozen times and still not have a driver's license? On top of that, she is undergoing bi-weekly drug tests (thank God) and attending parenting classes with ex-hubby Kevin Federline. Who cares about the parents...save the children!

Mark your calendars!

For the first time in history, the date I have circled on my calendar on the month of May will NOT be my birthday, but the premiere of the new Sex and the City movie! Word is the flick is opening May 30, 2008, so y'all know where I'll be that day.

Zanessa back in action

Ugh. The nastiest teen couple in Hollywood made a midnight McDonald's run Sunday, obviously attracting a lot of attention. You know you've made an impact when the paparrazi get out of bed to run and snap a pic of you in the drive-thru...yawn. Anyway, Vanessa was flaunting her "friendship" ring from Zac, who is definitely, definitely straight. No really, he is.

Vanessa Hudgens is a High School Musical whore!!!

I'm sure you've all heard this already...as you can see I haven't been very active on the computer this week (mine wigged out on me so I've been sneaking home to use my dad's). This is one of my favorite celeb stories in the past couple of weeks...turns out little Gabriella isn't quite as innocent as Disney execs made her out to be (this pic is tame compared to some that got leaked). First of all, how could she EVER think this was a good idea? And second, who the hell took this picture and went along with the notion that it was a good idea? Her pal Miley Cyrus was quoted by E! saying that she felt bad For Ness, and that everyone makes mistakes. I'm sorry...oops, I totalled my car--that's a mistake. But oops, my clothes fell off and I bit my lip and posed in front of a camera accidentally? Mistake isn't quite the right word.

Mary-Kate explains herself...sort of

Have you ever had one of those days when you just wake up and think to yourself, "I want to have white trash hair today"? No? Me neither. But apparently Mary-Kate does quite frequently...at least she said she does in this month's issue of Bazaar. What other gems did she share with us, you ask? She loves walking around naked in her house wearing nothing but heels and that signature chunky jewelry. Something tells me I could have lived without that little tidbit of information.

And the award for the worst VMA performance in history goes to...

Seriously. I had just gotten out of the shower on Sunday night and was beginning to wind down for the night...when I was confronted with the most disturbing and unnerving display of suckiness that I have ever witnessed. Britney's "performance" was not only skanky, but boring, lifeless and pretty much looked like what the slutty girl in high school would do in the talent show (you know the one I mean). And (here comes the bitch in me), is it just me or is Britney's "physique" not exactly in the shape it used to be? It's fine, girl--you had two kids. But please, dress accordingly.

She doesn't waste any time

Hayden Panettiere is no longer jail bait, and she wants the whole world to know about it. A mere week after turning the big 1-8, pictures of a scantily clad Hayden on the cover of FHM are surfacing on the internet, much to the delight of geeky teen-aged boys and creepy middle-aged men everywhere. Go ahead boys, fantasize without feeling guilty. It's still a little creepy to me.

At this point, anything is an improvement

So, apparently Cameron Diaz realized that she was way too A-list for lame-o "mindfreak" Criss Angel, because now he seems to be smitten with Britney Spears (weird couple alert)! But anyway, I posted this pic to say something nice, so here it goes. Is it just me, or does Britney actually appear to be a bit like her former self in this picture? Big, pretty eyes, a decent wig, subtle make-up...take away the wannabe magician and she's golden.

Zac Efron makes me miss high school

Ok, so maybe that's a bit of an overstatement... NOTHING could really make me want to go back to that hell hole. But in the magical land of High School Musical where the jocks and science geeks are all hot and all hang out together, and and instead of sweat the basketballers ooze sugar water... well, you get my point. And so did everyone else in America. Friday night's premiere of High School Musical 2 brought in a record-breaking 17.2 million viewers, making it the most watched basic cable program in the history of television. That's quite the achievement. And luckily for me, that probably means another five installments are already in the works...and I can swoon over Zac's baby blues until I'm blue in the face.

Gwyneth Paltrow is a sexy cripple

I'm used to W magazine having photo shoots that are a little... well... avante garde, but this month's featuring Gwyneth Paltrow takes the cake! They not only decided to incorporate Gwyn's real-life knee injury into the sexy pics (and her love of bottle feeding rodents?), but check out those brows! Very retro. Looking good, momma!

Hey all...be sure to check out my article on Mel B's nuptials today on the dSpot at http://www.dotspotter.com/!

--Cassie

From one hot spicy girl to the next...

Check out those abs! Ginger Spice, aka Miss Geri Halliwell, is looking hotter than ever these days! These sexy photos taken recently of her in her teeny bikini show that this new mommy can bounce back quicker from child birth than Heidi Klum even could. Her new name should be "Sexy Spice" or "MILF Spice"!

Eddie Murphy tells the entire world what we already knew

What is it with celebrities thinking that we "normal" people are all a bunch of idiots? First, Star Jones comes out and confirms to the world that she did, in fact, have gastric bypass surgery...about a million and a half hours after we all stopped talking about it. Like Star could have dropped 3,000 pounds through diet and exercise. Now, Mel B's baby daddy Eddie Murphy is finally admitting that he is her 4-month-old daughter Angel's biological father. Eddie-- Melanie had a DNA test done in June- that YOU agreed to- which proved that you were the baby's father. Maybe he should read the tabloids more often.

Wait...she meant actual lollipops?

Apparently, when Britney tells her 2-year-old booboo Sean P. to go get "Mommy's lollipops", she means actual lollipops sometimes and not just those cancer sticks. You have to hand it to the girl...she lost her marriage, career and is about to lose her children, but she can still enjoy a night out on the town in a black one-piece jumper monstrosity along with her cousin and "singer", Alli. Get out of lala land, bitch!